Google Didn't Have a Clue, or Gay, Bulgarian and in the US

There isn't exactly much to say about what I'm going to say. But I think the little there is is important, because even Google seems to be poorly informed about it.

As you may know, I am a Bulgarian gay man in the United States. I have never given it much of a thought, or tried to ponder what it "means", because it never seemed like something out of the ordinary to me. The fact that I'm Bulgarian, much like the fact I'm gay are things I was born with and a part of who I am, so I didn't think they deserved any "special treatment".

However, you add the adverbial modifier "in the United States" and things become a little interesting. As a computer geek I'm good with online search, and I spent quite some time trying to find information on Google about Bulgarian gay guys in the States. Guess what - all of my searches failed - they pointed me to the gay societies in Bulgaria, news on Bulgarian legislation about gays, spicy details about the Bulgarian gay nightlife, and even spicier pictures of allegedly Bulgarian gay models (except they have names like Piotr and Malek, which are SO distinctly Bulgarian it makes me shiver).

Then I resorted to a weapon I had't used since my early college years - preying for gay guys on Facebook. But this time, in addition to specifying "Male, interested in Men" I also added "from Bulgaria". Yeah, I know - I'm only searching in the Seattle, Dartmouth, and Microsoft networks, but it is still telling I got no results.

So it seems that, for all intensive purposes, we don't exist :) However, since I'm proof to the contrary, it is interesting to think how many others like me are there, not having anyone exactly in their shoes to talk to about what it means to them, and how it has affected their lives and relationships with others. I have few stories of my own to tell, but there is one stereotype I have seen over and over again - in the States it is expected that all Bulgarian men are straight.

Once I was talking to a friend on the phone, and when we were done she didn't hang up the phone correctly, so I could still hear her talk in her room. She is Bulgarian and apparently had some Bulgarian friends over. When they asked who she was talking to, she explained it was so-and-so "and oh, he's gay". The other Bulgarians sounded quite surprised and asked her a few times if she was quite sure.

College was different, yet not. It was different, because I met Niki and Alex, my fabulous Bulgarian girlfriends, who not only didn't take an issue with me being gay, but actually helped me come to terms with it and feel comfortable with myself. The guys, however, while being friendly (as all Bulgarians in the US are supposed to be to each other), never really quite accepted it, or talked about it. I was even expected, on several occasions, to "bring some hot chicks" with me to the party. And I usually did, although for different reasons :)

On a more positive note, it seems like my American counterparts go nuts (no pun intended) about foreign guys, or guys with accents, or some mixture thereof. When I say I'm Bulgarian it instantly wins me some cute points, and I have grown to appreciate my motherland in a whole new way :)

So yeah, so far I have only my experiences to draw on when I talk about what it is to be Bulgarian, and gay, in the US. Of course, everybody goes through life in their own way, but I do admit I would have liked to know how it is for people on a similar path to mine.