Alienation

Warning: I tend to philosophize from time to time and this is one of those times. Proceed at your own risk.

I have been noticing something for quite a while now, something I felt when I first came to the US, something that, although in a different guise, I have felt since I moved to Seattle. There really isn't in my head a coherent, easy to grasp explanation I can give of what that thing is. I will give it my best shot, as much as my verbal proficiency allows.

I have always felt that people here (in the US) are so lonely. I would be walking in the streets and I'd catch someone's eyes - what I would almost always see, or at least interpret from what I see, is this strange mixture of an acute desire to communicate, to feel close; and on the other hand a fear to approach the other person, a fear of the other that runs very deep. In most of those cases the brief eye encounter leaves me with a sense of sadness, a sense that the person whose eyes I've caught is lost, disoriented, that they need a hand.

The reason I'm writing about this is because I've experienced the feeling many times, almost daily. It is to the point I try to avoid looking at people, because I want to avoid the painfully demanding stare which seems to scream "smile at me, give a sign that you're willing to communicate with me". I see so many people who seem so starved of affection, of real communication as opposed to an exchange of platitudes. At the same time, it seems harder and harder to break people's walls and get to the person inside - even when we're together, we're often really by ourselves, we are in a comfort zone described by the distance we keep from others.

This is why I'm also sometimes worried about the future, about a time when natural resources will run thin (oil, water) and that will create strife between people - as movies often depict, when humanity is faced with adversity, instead of growing closer it grows further apart, and people lose their humanity altogether. I've thought long and hard what could be done to change this, what I could do to change this. I consciously try to be the kind of person people would not feel afraid to approach, the kind of person who actually cares about others and wants to be their friend. Work is one of the places where I see a lot of people who make small, uncertain, fearful steps when it comes to interacting with others, and I consider it a good training ground for developing the qualities I need to be that kind of person.

What's your take on this - have you noticed it? Is it as tangible for you as it is for me? I sometimes wonder if I'm simply imagining things.